Zack's Alphabet Book
by Zipper Nova
Summary: Zack manages to get stuck with making an alphabet book for a Kindergarten school class. A simple job for a SOLDIER, right? Well, Cloud will help, right?


**Title: **Zack'sAlphabet Book

**Author: **Zipper Nova

**Rating: **K

**Pairing: **SlightZack/Cloud

**Summary: **Zack manages to get stuck with making an alphabet book for a Kindergarten school class. A simple job for a SOLDIER, right? Well, Cloud will help, right?

"How did this happen exactly?" Cloud asked Zack from where he sat on the couch.

"Well," Zack began as he paced back and forth across the carpet. "I was talking to this hot chick at this store. And then it somehow led to kids and then she said she was a teacher and then she said something about the alphabet and I told her how I knew mine pretty damn well. I think she said something about making a book for the class but she was too busy so I jumped in as the hero and said I'd do it."

"Geez you're dumb." Cloud commented as he pulled his knees up under his chin.

"Aw come on Spike! If you saw her you would have said it too!" Zack said as plopped down on the couch next to him.

"No, I wouldn't."

"Oh right, 'cause you're asexual?"

"Yes."

"Aren't you proud of me? That was a big word!"

"And it means?"

"What you told me it means."

"To not be sexually active or interested in any of it. It's also used for things without a gender but, you know."

There was a moment of silence as Zack stared at his younger friend.

"Virgin." He said with a blank expression.

"Shut up!" Cloud blushed. He got up and crossed his arms over his chest. "You can do this alone then."

"No!" Zack yelled as he flung his arms around Cloud's waist. "I need your help!"

"Get you face off my ass!"

"Help me!" 

"I thought you knew your letters!"

"I know letters but not words!"

"Fine!"

When Zack finally let go Cloud got a sheet of paper and a pencil. He set them down on the coffee table in front of Zack and sat down next to him on the couch.

"Write the letters down the side of the paper." He commanded.

"But that's a lot of letters." Zack whined.

"I'm leaving." Cloud said and stood up.

"I'll do it! Please just stay!"

Zack slowly wrote the letters as he was told then sat his head on the table.

"Now what?" He mumbled.

"Think of words for Kindergartners." Cloud replied.

"I don't know any." Zack said as catapulted his pencil across the room.

Cloud frowned at him.

"It's no wonder you came here and nearly failed all your classes. You were too busy catapulting pencils from the edge your desk weren't you?"

"Maybe…"

"Go get it."

"UGH!"

Zack crawled across the floor and picked up his pencil. He then proceeded to crawl back to his spot and write down a word for the letter P.

"Pencil? Good, now do it for the others." Cloud said as he put his feet up on the couch and closed his eyes.

"A…" Zack mumbled. "A word for A… Angeal! Those kids should know who Angeal is! That teacher chick said she adored all the First Class SOLDIERS and that she makes games up for the kids with them! So they'll know Angeal for sure!"

"That's weird."

"You're weird! You and your no sex drive!"

Cloud frowned and pushed Zack's face with his foot.

"That's being normal!"

"Yeah maybe if you're a girl… You're not a chick in disguise are you?"

"Do I look like-?"

"Yes."

"Write you're stupid words…" Cloud frowned as he closed his eyes again.

About an hour later Zack had come up with most of the words for the alphabet book. He frowned and turned around to see if Cloud would help. Cloud still had his eyes closed and his breathing was heavy.

"Cloud." Zack whispered. "Spike." When he got no response he poked him in the cheek with his pencil.

Cloud frowned and moved his hand to his cheek to bat the poke away. Zack frowned and rested his chin on the couch next to the younger's arm. His curiosity quickly got the best of him though as his mind wondered back to the conversation they had had not long ago.

_I bet Cloud's a chick._ Zack thought to himself. _No guy should every be this cute. Unless he's a baby or something. No, Cloud's a chick. And her name is Sky._

He raised his head up and looked at the sleeping blonde. He then lowered his gaze to the chest that was slowly rising and falling. He lowered his gaze more to the hem of the "boy's" shirt. He lightly grabbed it and slowly lifted it up. He peeked under it cautiously as to not wake up the other.

_I was hoping to see boobs but chicks wear bras. …No bra. No boobs?_ Zack's thoughts were quickly ended by the twitch of the muscles in the blonde's stomach. Zack pulled his head back and looked at the blonde's face. He had on a small frown but was still sleeping.

_Oh thank Shiva. _Zack thought as he exhaled a held breath. He looked back to the flat stomach and realized what might have caused the action.

_I have bangs. _He thought in realization. He tucked the strands at the side of his face behind his ears and went back to his exploration. When he was finished looking at the nonexistent boobs he sat up.

"What else do I look for?" He whispered to himself. "Women, boobs, chicks… heh dicks. WAIT! Dicks…"

Zack swallowed at the thought of actually invading his friend's pants. His cheeks turned a light pink.

_Well I'm just curios, and the worst that could happen is that he'd wake up. _Zack thought as he chewed on his lower lip. He took a deep breath and sat up straight.

"I can do this. I've done it to other people. Of course I had their consent but it's all the same right? He wouldn't charge me with rape would he? Not like I'm actually gonna touch him though…"

At this point Zack was staring his pants button down like it was his worst enemy. Which, in a sense, it was. He carefully slid a finger under the waist band of his pants and pulled them away from his waist. He carefully undid the button on the pants and let them sit on his hips. He paused for a second to watch Cloud's reaction. He then took a deep breath and slowly pulled down on the pants zipper.

"Blue boxers. Boxers, boxers, boxers. Chicks can wear boxers." Zack whispered to himself.

He carefully slid his fingertips under the waist of the pants and slowly started to pull down.

"What the hell are you doing?"

_Fuck._

Zack looked up to see a groggy yet severely pissed and confused blonde.

"H-hey there Spike, just uh…" Zack stuttered, searching for the right words to lie with. "Um, I thought you might be more comfortable without your… pants."

"Yeah right! What you couldn't find a chick to bang so you were gonna rape me in my sleep!?" Cloud yelled, fully awake now.

"No! That's not it at all!"

"Then what!?"

"I… No. You'll hit me."

"I'm about to kick your ass! What the hell were you doing?"

"I was trying to see if you were girl!"

The next minute consisted of pure silence. Cloud's face turned red in not only embarrassment but also in anger. Why would his best friend think he was a girl? Why would he try to get in his pants for something like that? Unless it's a lie to hide what he really wants…

Cloud's face then turned red at the thought of Zack actually being attracted to him. So in a way, Cloud wanted to know which was true.

"Y-yeah right. That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard." He said looking away from the older teen.

"Well maybe but, it's true…" Zack said kinda quiet.

"You're not that stupid."

"Well maybe I am."

"What would give you a reason to think that I was a girl?"

"Our conversation earlier."

"Ugh, just work on your stupid book."

"But-"

"We'll talk about it later."

"G is for girl…"

"U is for unbelievable…"

"S is for sorry."

"It's okay. Now write down everything we just said."

"Uh that won't really work."

"Why?"

"I already have words for those letters."

Cloud looked at Zack's paper and found most of the letters filled out. A through T was already finished. Cloud had to admit, Zack was a lot farther than he thought he'd be.

"Not bad." Cloud commented.

"I know I'm great." Zack said with a cocky smile.

Cloud sat up and zipped his pants. Zack laid his head on the table at the sound of the noise.

"Awkward…" He sang.

"Shut up and finish your words."

Zack stared at the paper for a grand total of twenty seconds before giving up and using simple words for the rest of the letters. He looked up at Cloud who had grabbed a book from the side table and started reading it. Zack looked back to his paper then picked it up and showed Cloud.

"Done and done!" Zack said with a smile.

Cloud sat up and looked at the paper.

"Nice, now make a little booklet." Cloud said.

"What?" Zack exclaimed. "Damn teacher is lazy!"

"You offered to do it!"

"Touché…"

Cloud shook his head and got up and got a few sheets of paper and some colored pencils.

"Why do you have colored pencils again?" Cloud asked Zack when he returned.

"Well, I get bored." Zack answered simply.

"Right." Cloud said in disbelief.

He gave him the materials and sat on the floor next to him. He watched as Zack picked up a sheet and eyed it. He held it up in the air and moved different ways.

"What are you doing?" Cloud asked.

"Um… figuring out how to do this?" Zack tried.

Cloud shook his head and snatched the paper from the older male. He took the other papers and folded them down the middle together so they were like a book.

"There, now just, write the letter and words and draw a picture or something." Cloud said leaning against the couch behind him.

Zack set to work writing the words. It wasn't an easy task keeping him on track. Cloud knew that from past experiences. It seemed like each time got a bit harder though. What should have taken less than half an hour ended up taking two. Zack had done multiple things including tickling Cloud, launching more pencils across the room and just laying on the floor. In the end, the booklet looked rather swell.

"I have to admit," Cloud started, looking the booklet over. "This turned out much better than I thought it would."

"Thanks Spiky!" Zack said slinging his arm around the other's shoulders.

The rest of the day was uneventful. Cloud had put the booklet away somewhere safe and made sure Zack knew where it was so he could deliver it to the class the next day.

When the next day actually arrived though, Cloud had to figure out how to get Zack up and to the school. It ended with Zack wet and water everywhere but at least he was awake right? He got dressed and headed towards the school, all the while mumbling things under his breath. They mostly followed along the lines of "How could Cloud do that? I thought he loved me!"

It was around noon when Cloud had made his way back to the apartment he and Zack shared. The classes had been dismissed early do to a new group of trainees coming in. Cloud was fine with that. He hated everyone in his classes and he was sure the feeling was mutual for the others. Zack had come back around one. He had a big grin on his face as he sat down on the couch next to Cloud.

"I take that it went well?" Cloud asked.

"Very!" Zack exclaimed. "Man, those kids were great! They totally understood all the crap I said!" 

"You didn't lie to them right?" Cloud asked concerned.

"No! It's just such simple stuff and everyone knew about all the First Class SOLDIERS and everything!"

"You seem surprised."

"They're freaking five and stuff!"

Cloud laughed as Zack continued on his story in pure excitement. When he finished he went through some papers on the coffee table in front of them and found the paper he was looking for.

"You know, I actually made two alphabet books. Well sort of. This one is just a piece of paper." Zack said folding the paper in half and reopening it.

"You did?" Cloud questioned.

"Yeah, this one is mine though. The words are different."

"Let's see it."

Zack handed the paper to Cloud and left him read it.

"I'd have to say my favorite is C." Zack said with a smile.

"Why? Cause it's my name?" Cloud said with a smile.

"Maybe."

"Angeal, Banora, Cloud, Dumb Apple, Everyone, Fun, Gongaga, Home, Ice Cream, Joke, Kunsel, Loveless, Midgar, Nibelheim, Odin, People, Queen, Reactor, Sephiroth, Turk, Umbrella, Vacation, Work, X-ray, Yarn and Zack. Cloud read off. "I don't know Zack; some of these are pretty child like words!" He teased.

"Oh back off! At least I did it right!"

"Yeah," Cloud said with a smile. "I'm proud of you."

"Seriously?" Zack asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I mean who knew you knew this many words."

"Oh be quiet!" Zack laughed as he put the younger in a headlock.

**Author's Notes: **REVIEW AND STUFF! :D Leave it to Zack to stick his hands down Cloud's pants thinking he's a girl.


End file.
